Andrea
Muizelaar on Fashion, Anorexia and Life After Canada's Next Top Model
11/28/07
In the 18 months since Andrea Muizelaar was crowned winner of the
reality TV series Canada's Next Top Model, her life has been a complete
whirlwind. From working in a dollar store in her hometown of Whitby,
Ontario, to modeling haute couture in Toronto, she had reached her dream
of becoming a true Top Model.
But at what cost? Unknown to casual television viewers, Muizelaar had
been enveloped in the eating disorder anorexia nervosa, which inevitably
became too much for her to bear. She gave up modeling and moved back to
Whitby, where she sought treatment for her disorder, re-entered college,
and now works at a bank. Where is she now? Happy and healthy, she says.
Recently Andrea Muizelaar sat down with Wikinews reporter Mike
Halterman in a candid interview that stretched to nearly two hours, as
she told all about her hopes and aspirations, her battle with anorexia,
and just what really happened on Canada's Next Top Model.
Andrea's beginnings
Mike Halterman: Tell us a bit about your background. We know all about
the Andrea we saw on Top Model, but we're interested to hear where you
came from. What do your parents do? Did you have any hard times growing
up?
Andrea Muizelaar: I am from Whitby, Ontario. My Dad works in the
nuclear industry and my Mom is a stay-at-home mom. I had a lot of trouble
from my peers at school due to my "geeky" appearance - braces,
etc. MH: How geeky are we talking here? Worse than any other teenager?
AM: Probably not extremely geeky; more of being a victim of a bully who
liked to pick on me continuously and influenced other kids to do likewise.
MH: How long did that last?
AM: I would say from Grade 2 to Grade 9. MH: What happened after that
point? Did they stop, or did you grow into your looks, or was it something
else?
AM: I definitely grew into my looks, the braces came off; high school
is a bigger place and the bullying subsided because I had new friends. MH:
This was also around the time you wanted to model, right?
AM: Correct. Once I transitioned into a pretty young lady, people
started telling me that I should model. Going from one extreme, to this
one, it went to my head and I started dieting over the summer of Grade 9
to make sure that I was the perfect candidate. MH: Is that when you first
became anorexic?
AM: Yes - I lost 20 pounds that summer and then starting losing my
control and modelling became my new excuse for this weight loss and
soon-to-be disorder.
Andrea on her road to modeling, and America's Next Top Model MH: Who
were the people you looked up to and inspired you to pursue modeling? Did
they have that thin body type that you hoped to have?
AM: I looked up to anyone in a media image as well as, and especially,
America's Next Top Model contestants. MH: That was actually going to be my
next question. Who did you look up to on that show?
AM: All the contestants on the show, minus the plus size girl because I
knew modelling was all about thin and not regular people MH: Some of the
plus sized girls on that show actually went into rather lucrative careers,
like Toccara from Cycle 3, probably more so than some of the thinner
winners. How do you feel about that, and how would you have felt about
such an event occurring before you overcame your anorexia?
AM: Like most of the viewers of the show, I had no idea where any of
the winners or past-contestants ended up. Now, I am starting to rebuild my
career more than anyone ever helped me to before...and to boot...I am
healthy doing it. MH: Definitely. On that note, do you feel there is such
a thing as "perfect" in terms of image in fashion?
AM: Absolutely not in real life. In the fashion world the perfect image
is definitely "thin" and it will be for a long time to come. MH:
Even with the Toccaras and Tyra Banks of the world?
AM: Tyra Banks started off extremely thin to get to where she is today,
I was sick and dying and not able to do the same. Besides, look at the
hype and criticism Tyra is getting for her present size and even Britney
Spears for that matter. MH: That is true. Do you think Tyra Banks picks
the bigger models for "good TV" instead of actually succeeding
in modeling?
AM: Absolutely - has any of them ever won yet? ...or come close? MH:
There was a big hype over Tyra picking Whitney and Diana for ANTM 8, which
was the first time two plus sized girls made it into the final rounds.
They were both eliminated midway through the competition. That year
Jaslene won. Do you think her look is unhealthy in terms of how it's
promoted to the public and young girls?
AM: Yes I do. Look at me and how I looked when I won. I could not even
face the young children that I used to babysit on my crescent, let alone
the whole world. I was ashamed at how I looked. MH: Do you believe the
producers for shows such as Top Model intentionally pick people who are
perhaps unstable, whether it be with body image or otherwise?
AM: Yes, definitely, look at CNTM 1 - there was a drinker, a nerd (me),
a bitch, etc.
Experience on Canada's Next Top Model
MH: This question was asked by Steff Groulx, who was on Canada's Next
Top Model, Cycle 2. "Do you think the experience you had on the show
was what you thought it would be?"
AM: Yes, the show was as hard as I thought it would be and I can accept
that. It is the "behind the scenes" that went on and is still
going on that made me make the decision of "quitting" easier.
MH: In the third episode, the photographer who was the guest judge that
week made a comment that he wanted to take you "to get something to
eat," and then criticized fellow contestant Natalie for being "a
bit big" for modeling. Did you feel you had the worst criticism, or
do you think it was evenly spread out among all the girls?
AM: It was evenly spread out. The criticism affected me as much as the
others, but because I had a severe eating disorder at this time, I was
very afraid of being exploited because of it. MH: Right, you had some big
concerns. Ylenia also had self-image concerns while on the show, but we
don't know of her full story. Do you still keep in contact with her, and
if so, is she in a better state of mind now?
AM: I've talked to Ylenia maybe once since CNTM and personally I do not
know how she is handling herself. MH: Tricia Helfer hired a personal
trainer for an episode, and he told you to revise your diet and to gain
weight in your backside and in your thighs. Were you afraid to listen to
him or did you mentally process his tips but were hesitant anyway?
AM: I knew out of every guest on the show that he was the most sincere
in his advice. I wanted to do what he said, but I knew that it was just
for the show and therefore didn't abide. I have talked to him recently and
shared my story and he is so supportive of the way I look now and my true
success story. MH: He was also the same guest who memorably destroyed a
scale with a sledgehammer. Since Tricia Helfer invited him, do you feel
that she was sincere about wanting all the contestants to be healthy? Did
she know you had an eating disorder?
AM: Tricia Helfer knows the demands of the industry as she lives them
herself. She was not the producer of the show and did not plan the show,
so I assume she is doing as she is told, knowing full well that weight was
a big issue amongst all of us. They all knew that I had an eating disorder
as I barely ate on that show. If anyone did not know, they were just plain
naive. MH: After the Pantene photo shoot, at panel, all the judges
criticized your weight, specifically that you didn't weigh enough, and you
later became defensive and said you ate well. This was interspersed with
an interview from Alanna who said she never saw you eat a full meal the
entire time you were in the house. The mantra quickly became "Andrea,
you need to eat!" Now my question is, do you feel that they truly
cared about whether you ate or not, and do you think that mantra was just
an excuse to go, "Well, I did say she needed to eat..."?
AM: They obviously did not care as I ended up winning the show and only
ate dinner with everybody once. MH: What would you hypothesize is the
reason for the disconnect between the fashion industry's definitions of
"health," "attractiveness," and "beauty,"
and what most people, completely unrelated to the fashion industry, would
see as healthy, attractive and beautiful?
AM: I have no idea why the image of beauty is so distorted and why the
industry went wrong in the first place. MH: Twiggy herself has noted that
models were more full-figured and traditionally "beautiful"
before she came along, and that she thinks she may be a trend-setter in
that regard. If you believe that's true, then do you think that she should
be telling other potential models how to fit in "the mold,"
since she was the one who broke it in the first place?
AM: I personally do not believe that she had such impact on the whole
industry. MH: In your opinion, who do you think had the bigger impact? Is
it one model? A series of models?
AM: Personally, that is well before my time and I'm unsure as to how
exactly it changed. MH: But you don't feel it's correct for Twiggy to
"claim ownership" of today's "model look," as it were?
AM: No way! No one in that industry has that much impact! MH: Do you
feel that there are certain good qualities that the fashion industry has,
and if so, what are they?
AM: No, because the clothes the average person wears are not even
remotely close to high fashion modelling. MH: Alanna was bigger than you
were, but still rather average in terms of everyday women. If she had won
and not you, do you think she would have had a tougher time breaking into
high fashion?
AM: For all I know - maybe she would be the one to break the mold of
being skinny! Ha, ha! MH: Alanna was a very strong competitor. Do you feel
the final two was a good choice, or should someone else have taken
Alanna's place?
AM: To be honest - I don't think that I should have been in the final
two; however if I was on the show now - it would have been an extremely
tight competition. MH: One constant criticism by the judges and by fans
was that you lacked confidence, and certain times in the series you
questioned why you were competing against girls you felt were "better
than you." Why did you feel that way? Was your body image a factor,
and if so, how much of a factor? What other factors were there in the way
you felt?
AM: Let's just say that 99% of [the time I was] filming CNTM, I was
only focused on hiding my eating disorder, therefore affecting everything
from the way I walked on runway to my confidence level. MH: The CityTV
final episode online viewer poll had the question "Should Andrea have
won CNTM?" and the response was overwhelmingly in favor of "No,
Andrea shouldn't have been CNTM! She's too skinny and the crying gets
annoying!" Was hiding your anorexia the reason why you were as
emotional as you were?
AM: Correct. I was so emotionally unstable that the only person I could
talk to was my Mom because she knew what I was going through. MH: You made
a comment during the series that you felt Stacey McKenzie was the most
critical and belittling of the judges. Toward the second half of the
competition, you spent an entire afternoon alone with her at the house and
it was shown that you two bonded. Do you feel that day really made you
feel better about how Stacey viewed you?
AM: No, because after wrapping up the day with Stacey I went to give
her a hug in front of all the other girls and her true colours shone
through. MH: Please elaborate. Her "true colors" in what sense?
AM: The bonding was completely TV material and not really there. MH:
Which judge do you feel was perhaps the most genuine in terms of behavior
on-screen and off?
AM: Tricia Helfer and Ron (one of the producers). MH: There's been
criticism on America's Next Top Model that Tyra Banks and the care that
she shows to her models is an act for TV. Do you think Tricia Helfer is
the opposite?
AM: Absolutely, and don't you think it is weird that she no longer
hosts CNTM? MH: Jay Manuel now hosts, and it's weird to see because he's
in a different mode than he is on America's Next Top Model, where he's
often very blunt and sarcastic. [...] Toward the end, there was a lot of
rather cruel teasing towards you coming from Alanna and Brandi. As you may
remember, it culminated in the night they went through your belongings and
then tampered with a "treat" they prepared for you and Sisi. It
wasn't a complete 180 in behavior, per se, but it did get very nasty very
quickly. Why do you think they acted the way they did? Also, you were
never shown confronting them for what they did. Did you end up doing so?
Finally, did you know the extent of all they had done right away, or did
you not find out until you actually saw the episode on television?
AM: These girls were set up by the producers [and were asked] devious
questions about me. I did not even know that anyone went through my
personal belongings until I watched the show myself. MH: What did the
producers say? On TV, due to editing, it comes across as Alanna and Brandi
deciding to be nosy and poke through your things.
AM: They were asked questions such as, "Soooo, what do you think
of all the candy that Andrea has in her suitcase?" MH: And they
didn't know you had any before that time?
AM: Not to my knowledge. I was pretty good at hiding things due to my
eating disorder. MH: After the final runway show, you did a private
interview and you said something that stuck out. "I have learned so
much about being a woman, about being a model, about being
beautiful." Considering what happened to you during the competition
and later on, do you still feel what you learned was genuine? If not, what
do you feel isn't genuine, and what good things did you bring from the
experience?
AM: The whole show was a learning experience; I learned many tips about
modelling and tricks of the trade and will have them in my back pocket
forever. The thing that I brought from the experience is that the industry
is not glamorous in the least and by the grace of God all these
experiences brought me to my senses and the healthy and real woman that I
am today.
The message she wrote to her fans on her facebook group
Andrea first told her story via facebook. You can read her statement
here. MH: You wrote that you decided to audition for Canada's Next Top
Model knowing that you would have to perpetuate an image of unhealthiness
and false images of beauty. Why did you choose to go down that road if you
knew of the risks?
AM: At the time I did not feel that I was unhealthy - it was part of
the requirements for CNTM. I had no idea of the risks, plus my eating
disorder took 5 years of my life and I had to prove to myself and my
family that it was all because of this disorder. MH: You seem to describe
a battle of what you wanted more, which in this case, modeling almost won
out over your health. What finally made you realize that modeling became
too much to bear, and why did modeling mean that much to you?
AM: I had no friends or family to support me [in Toronto]. My health
started to slip (i.e., toenails falling off). My health was in severe
jeopardy. Modelling meant a lot to me as any young girl's dreams [would].
MH: When your health faltered, that's when you said, "No, I can't do
this anymore"?
AM: Correct. This as well as the fact that the industry was cold and
treating me quite badly. MH: Do you feel that there should have been more
of a fine line drawn between the money you received, between
"prize" and "work," for tax purposes?
AM: Yes! The money was at one point on the show classified as a prize
and we never even thought about taxes. This would make the prize more
inconsiderable if it was called "$65,000 total prize winnings"
to all the viewers. MH: You discuss many horrible housing situations
during your reign as Top Model. Were you not allowed to make your own
decisions as far as housing was concerned?
AM: In the beginning, no. My parents and I were told where I would
stay, and what I could and mostly could not bring. The second housing was
because I refused to live in the first dwelling and again this was an
arranged accommodation. After seeing how nasty this second place was (mice
in my bed), I decided to make a decision and see what I could afford in
terms of rent close to what I was already paying ($650) in another place
in Toronto [that was] NOT in someone's house. This is where I found [the
final place], the only available place for this price...a place on
Parliament Street. The nasty side of town.
Her brief modeling career
MH: Your spread in Fashion magazine only paid $500. Is that a
competitive rate for models or do you feel that you were paid less because
you were under your television contract?
AM: That is incorrect; I was paid zero dollars for the Fashion shoot. I
was paid $500 for a wedding magazine front page and spread. This dollar
amount is standard in the business for this job - apparently whether you
are Canada's Next Top Model or not. MH: Why do you feel CityTV did not
back you, as you say they were going to, during the lawsuit with your
previous agency?
AM: The truth? We never got them to sign on their promises to my
parents and I. They knew this and we were naive and didn't. Everything
these days is officialized only if it is in writing. So, they claim now
that they never said such things and [told us] to deal with the situation
as these things happen every day. MH: The Canadian website Canoe said you
had alleged that Jeanne Beker, a judge on the show, effectively
"ruined your career." Can you elaborate on what was meant by
that, and do you indeed feel she ruined your career?
AM: She did. This was one of the biggest reasons the industry was cold
to me and showed me its true colours. Within days of winning CNTM I gave
an interview and said certain words that were easily manipulated to mean
harm towards Jeanne Beker versus honest innocent answers. She should have
known this when the interview was made known to her but instead she
threatened to ruin my career verbally and she did because most people in
the business started to turn a cold shoulder to me. MH: A big criticism of
Top Model winners is that they don't go on to do many big fashion-related
events, such as runway shows or photoshoots. Do you feel that was the case
with you? In the year you did pursue modeling, who did you model for, and
what shows did you walk in?
AM: Yes, this was true for me. Because the winner has a pretty big work
contract to fulfill, the winner [was] pretty focused on it. You have to
make sure you keep your hair and looks the exact same for one year as per
contract. There are many jobs to do for the contract therefore the winner
cannot just leave Canada and travel abroad to model. MH: Another question
from Steff Groulx from CNTM 2: "Why did you go from wanting to be
Canada's Next Top Model to not wanting it at all?"
AM: I wanted it because I wanted to make the five years I spent
suffering worth the while. I left because of my health and the coldness I
learned the fashion industry [had].
[edit] "Happy and healthy" MH: You're going back to college
for business administration. What do you want to do with your degree?
AM: [I want to] become a very successful businesswoman, preferably
working for the bank which I work in presently. MH: How do you feel when
people tell you that you looked so beautiful in your modeling pictures
back when you had anorexia?
AM: Most of the time people are commenting on the glamour and the
intrigue of the show's excitement but once they know of my true story and
see how beautiful I am now they ALL agree I look way better than ever
before. And this is how I feel every day. I don't even watch the past
shows of me anymore because I cannot look at this person...she is not
me...not at all. MH: Do you feel you've fully grown into your "own
skin," so to speak, as far as your self-confidence goes now that you
have left modeling?
AM: Yes I have. I am officially able to hold my own; in fact, I am
ready to move out again because I am ready to start my own life and
family. MH: When you have a daughter of your own and she wants to become a
model, would you approve of her choice to go into modeling?
AM: No. I would never approve, ever. Times will not change in terms of
the viewpoints in fashion until well into the future and I would never
want my daughter to go through what I went through because she would. And
others will/would too. MH: Finally, what is your message to the girls of
Canada who have big dreams of their own? What would you tell them?
AM: In terms of modelling, this story is what happened to me without a
doubt. I know many more people (famous and non) that can relate to this
story. If you girls out there want to do this well (like me) you may
actually have to do this for your own fulfillment and to experience
something you may feel you need to before you can focus on anything
else...so do it. But I can assure you...this is a make or break you
industry. I will still have the hurts and upsets with me so did it make or
break me? I am not sure. Britney Spears...did the industry make or break
her? Again, I am not sure.